The flower festival parade is in full swing. We see it’s on the TV in reception at the hotel as we are leaving and we manage to weave our way through road closures and tons of traffic to nab a parking space close to Thae Pae Gate. There are floats and dancers, bands and drummers in fantastic traditional and Hill Tribe costumes working their way round the city to their eventual destination of Nong Buak Hard Public Park on the far south west corner of the moat. We stand and take photos, along with hundreds of tourists and Thais jockeying for position for the best pictures.

I am amazed that no one ever loses their temper here, it is a Buddhist thing, I’m hoping it’s contagious and I will try and bring it home with me :-). People stand in front of people when they are trying to take a picture, people bump and bang into each other but no one gets wound up everyone is patient and kind, it’s lovely.

We then jump on the bike and head to the park which is on the opposite side of the city. We wander around taking in the vibrant colours and aroma of thousands of lillys and other aromatic flowers beautifully set out. A lot of work has gone into all the displays, it’s breathtaking. Set against a background of a small lake with bridges and fountains, a perfect backdrop for the show. This time of year is when all these blooms are at their most perfect.

The stalls on the outside of the park house all the entry’s for the competitions. There are bonsai, air plants, cacti, orchids and many others too numerous to mention. Fantastic bonsai and air plants, wish I could get one or two home.

There are lots of families with picnics and food stalls all around the park. It’s a proper family day out. Everyone who was in the parade is in the park taking a well earned breather after their long walk. I sat with these guys who were in the parade and were all very happy to have their photo taken, most of them Manchester United fans it was easy to persuade them…..The Flower Queen is chosen with everyone having consumed lots of liquid refreshments and eaten their fill. A good time is had by all.

We arrive back in the evening after eating and freshening up to see the festival in the dark. During the day we noticed thousands of lights around the displays and around the park. We were stunned by the amount of fairy lights and its transformation to an atmospheric, magical flower paradise. It’s amazing how lights can totally change the illusion. Fantastic.

All in all another fantastic flower show. Looking forward to number 43 next year. Many thanks to Chris for all the fantastic photos.

We can’t believe we have been in Thailand 60 days and now it is time to renew the visa. We got up early and drove the 20 minutes to a large shopping mall called Promenada where the immigration office is. You need photocopies of your passport, immigration card, entrance date, a photo and 1900 baht (£43). You then queue to give all this information and payment to an official who gives you a number. When they call out your number they then take another photo and then it is just a waiting game. Last year when we did this we got here at 9am and it was 4pm when we left. It was such a long stint we felt we had got to know a few people, also waiting, really well. Hurray, less than 2 hours this time, almost unheard of. What did help was knowing what they needed and we brought it with us rather than more queuing and doing it there. There are definitely less tourists here this year.

If you don’t want to renew in the office you can leave the country. If you fly back in you get 30 days, a waiver on arrival visa. If you enter the country by land you only get 15 days. If they didn’t have very strict visa requirements you would not be able to get into Thailand it would be teeming with long stay tourists. If you want to stay on a retirement visa you have to have income or cash in the bank.

Tonight a lunar event the Super Blue Blood Moon is about to happen in Asia, Australia and parts of the US. It is a full lunar eclipse and a Blue moon as it’s the second full moon of the month. The Blood moon is the red colour of the sunlight through the atmosphere and a Super moon as it’s as close as it gets to the earth and so is 7% bigger and 15% brighter. Here are some photos.

These photos were taken from the top of a building where Chris had sweet talked the security guy to let us go to the roof. The building was all ripped out ready for refurbishment but the stairs were intact. He very kindly led us to the top with his torch, even though I suspect he was a bit tipsy. Slowly we climbed 8 floors and chatted in broken English and any Thai words we could think of….. The moon was rising.

We had tried to get in our gym which is on the 7th floor to take pictures from their windows which fully open. The manager said we weren’t allowed to take photos because the Burmese Embassy was opposite and the police said no photos. Ok then…

The temple where we ended up to take more pictures is called Wat Suan Dok, which has a huge gilded dome. It has a large population of monks and is a large teaching Wat for both local monks and foreigners. A few local people had the same idea and turned up with their cameras to catch the spectacle. It was a good place to try and capture the image as there is lots of open space around it and the stupors are well lit.

Chiang Mai known as the ‘rose of the north’ hosts the annual ‘Chiang Mai flower festival’ this weekend. It is always at the end of the cool season, the first weekend in February. We came last year and it was fantastic. We missed the parade last year but we won’t this time. It starts from the train station and slowly makes its way to the Thai Pae Gate (one side of the moat) and has walking bands, floats and dancers. The dancers hand out flowers to people watching and later in the day they pick a ‘flower queen’. The park is transformed by flower displays, miniature trees, orchids, landscaping with waterfalls and patio plants all judged with prizes. The local grown damask rose is only found in CM. We are really looking forward to it. Here are a couple of pictures from last year and more to come.

After posting pictures on FB from Ayutthaya, a friend said there were some ancient ruins just 10 minutes from CM. We looked it up, Wiang Kum Kam, and decided to go having never been to that area. There were lots of flattened ruins in amongst shops and houses, suburbia had grown around the many sites. The main and most complete ruins are next to a big Wat that had an old Lanna house and a folk museum on-site. In one of the smaller buildings was a fabulous bronze Buddha. There was a mural that showed the sites origins as the people started growing crops and colonising the area around the Wat. It took you on a pictorial journey for 700 years and as it got to the far end of the mural and into present day, there were archaeologists and finally tourists taking pictures and selfies and looking round the site. It was great and something I haven’t seen before. You can tour all the sites in a horse and carriage, also on the mural. Unlike Ayutthaya it took just an hour or so to see it all.

In the temples there is often fortune telling where you shake a bundle of sticks until one drops out and it has a number on. You then take the corresponding numbered sheet of paper for your fortune. I have done this in Doi Suthep the big temple on the hill overlooking CM. In this Wat there is a fortune telling machine and you put in a small coin and a dial spins round and again you match up the number. I did this and read mine; not good….

Then Chris did his;

I realised when Chris picked his that I had stupidly picked out the wrong one and so with great joy I found the right number. Thank goodness I was very disappointed with the first one!!! This one was much better.

We then went for a walk around the city had a coffee and sat watching people walking past. There seems to be lots of space cadets in CM. Too many people look as if they have been to too many festivals and taken way too many substances. There are New Age travellers, masses of dreadlocks, people with more tattoos than skin and piercings in all sorts of places. Older people who still dress like they are teenagers but have changed shape and maybe they don’t realise that the Mohican they sport doesn’t look too good with a big bald patch in the middle. I am not being judgemental, each to their own, but come on, let it go….there are jugglers and artists, fire spinning space cadets aplenty who wouldn’t look out of place with a dog on a rope and a paper cup in Chorlton. If you go to Pai further north, this is the main headquarters for all the space cadets and elephant pant wearing tribes. There are circus schools and every weird and wonderful variety of yoga classes and retreats. You see them ‘deep’ in meditation with one eye opening occasionally to make sure people can see them. It’s got to be good for the FB picture. There are the yoga space cadets who do unfathomably tricky postures while drinking their mocha matcha lattes in the cafes and other public places. Thailand attracts them all.

“There are many digital nomads; people who can work anywhere as long as they have a computer and good wi-fi. They can be bloggers or computer programmers, writers or internet sellers. It is a warm cheap place to park yourself. There are many communal work spaces you rent by the hour/day/month and cafes full of computers for the same thing. There is no shortage of work spaces.

Lots of tourists come here for a few days to hike, cook and other activities. Then there are the expats, sexpats and other miscreants who find themselves here. Tax dodgers, criminals and the general lunatic fringe, all can be found. There are lots of young backpackers enjoying their travels and gap years, they only stay a few days passing through to their next destination. Don’t get me wrong there are many “normal” people here just wanting a different lifestyle and many retirees who come from all over the world, it’s a fab place to be. I am not too sure where we fit in with all this. However you view yourself before coming here, even if you think you are a bit strange, when you see the people here you feel very, very normal more normal than you have ever felt!!

We arrived at the train station for the 9:45 train which true to form is delayed. This is the norm, no Thai train is ever on time but never very late, 30 minutes. A very officious guard herds everyone onto the correct platform and the train arrives, they don’t hang about, it is on the move very quickly. There are comfortable reclining seats and cool air conditioning. Once you are sat down a stewardess arrives with a bun filled with custard and a cup of coffee, lovely. There are 3 carriages with one cleaner who arrives and sweeps and mops the floor, a stewardess in every carriage to serve food and drinks, one ticket collector, it runs very well.

The landscape is flat and industrial for the first hour and then opens up to rice fields and villages. Occasionally you notice an enormous Buddha on a small hill, glinting in the sun. More crops, not just rice appear and more undulating land and trees.

Lunch arrives. It’s a pot of rice; egg stew with spice and chicken and red curry (chue chee) with mackerel. None of it looks very appetising.The egg is black with a bit of gnarly chicken floating in a grey viscous looking fluid. The red mackerel curry smells and tastes too fishy so I eat a bit of rice and I will have a banana. I won’t starve. Chris wolfs all of his down like a local, he is getting very adventurous with his food. I admire his tenacity but I’m not going there!!!!

According to Chris, my font of knowledge, the train is South Korean and made by Daewoo. It is 22 years old and travels at 110km an hour. The train runs very quietly, it puts our trains to shame. It cost £15 for a 9 hour journey, very reasonable. Only 7 hours to go I might have a snooze.

We pass an immense lake which seems to go on for miles with lots of tributaries and again edged by vast swathes of paddy fields. Some are just planted with a shimmer of green and some brown watery mud awaiting their transformation. There are also big open waters full of lotus plants, not yet in flower it must look fab when they bloom. This central part of the country is where a lot of the rice is grown, between Bangkok and the northern territories.

Rice fields, shanty towns, concrete towns: Rice fields, shanty towns, concrete towns; ad infinitum. It was interesting for the first 2 hours but after 5 hours it was tedious, and then at last, the railway line started cutting through the mountains. It was a good job as I was about to try and bludgeon myself to death with my plastic coffee cup….it’s Chris that likes the train journeys; 9 hours on a train or 1 hour on a plane it’s a no-brainer in my world and not much difference in price but I like to keep him happy 🙂

We then got biscuits and coffee, all good, the scenery was spectacular. Steep cliffs and jungle, it was worth the wait. The train follows the Mai Yam Nom river with its forested steep sides all the way to a town called Lampang. Last year we decided to ride to Lampang on the bike, it took 3 hours of hard riding in horribly busy traffic that was mostly big trucks. It was scary. When we got there we realised we could have got the train return for 100 baht. We nearly put the bike on the train for the return but wanted to go to the famous Thai elephant hospital on the way back so we didn’t get the train and saw the nellies instead. It was worth the very flat bottoms we both had.

We arrived back in CM, took a tuk tuk to our guesthouse, went out to eat and then fell into bed. It is nice to sleep without the AC on, the temperature was a cool 16 degrees. We slept like babies.

Friday was a day of planes, trains and automobiles and a ferry thrown in for good measure. It was slightly worrying on the ferry as we squeezed on, the back wheels of the bus hanging over the ferry’s open (not supposed to be) tailgate. I kept saying to myself ‘well if you have to die, here’s a good a place as anywhere’ AARGH. We survived and from then on it all went very smoothly until we got on the train which was heaving. We should maybe have realised when it was only 40 baht for both of us for a journey of 80 miles; less than a pound. As we boarded the train which didn’t hang about there were no seats and people had to shuffle up to let us sit, 3 people on 2 seats. It was slightly claustrophobic and very humid but we arrived in just over an hour. We immediately booked our train back to CM for Monday and booked 2nd class air conditioned where you get your own seat, it’s a 9 hour journey, food and drinks included. Phew.

We booked a room which is great, basic but clean and comfortable. We were starving so wandered out and found a blue plastic tablecloth establishment to eat some authentic Thai food, my lips are still zinging and I was thinking it might be a savlon moment the next day. It was nice to get proper Thai food and not the dumbed down version on the tourist beaches. Spicy.

The guesthouse rented us push bikes, by far the easiest way to get around and cooler than walking in 34 degrees. Most of the temples and museums are within a 3 mile radius so we set off and saw my favourite one called Wat Maha That. It was very reminiscent of the Angkor Wat Temples, very Cambodian in style but much smaller. We just managed to get round it before bus loads of Chinese tourists arrived.

We needed a coffee and found a small coffee shop away from the temples. We ordered in our best Thai, which always gets a giggle, and sat down. They brought us home made biscuits and made us feel very welcome. One of the girls asked if she could have a photo of us. I don’t suppose they get many pale eyed, pale skinned ginger aliens in that part of town!! Children stare and we had one kid almost fall off his bike, mouth open looking at us. It’s all good fun. It happens a lot.

We cycled to a very big Temple called Wat Na Phra Men which was having a big celebration. Everyone is so inclusive. A girl came up to us and said it was a big day and there was free food and we were very welcome. There was a huge array of fruit in front of the temple and lots of blessings and inside the Wat all the monks were sat waiting for something, we know not what ( that’s a temple joke)……We looked at one stall and someone said free ice cream and asked where were we from. We said England and the whole long queue said welcome and have ice cream. We moved to the back of the queue; we know how to queue in England, but we were still given big pots of mango and coconut ice cream before everyone else got theirs, they are lovely, kind people. Even the very smart looking policemen queued.

Leaving the temple we cycled past many elephants with tourists (mostly Asian) on metal cages on their backs. I was incandescent with rage and almost fell off my bike. One of the girls on an elephant smiled at me and I growled. I am turning into a real grumpy old git. Maybe they don’t realise how much the cages injure them, or don’t care grrrrrr. Tourist money.

We stopped at a small Temple and had a wander, looked in and a monk motioned us over and asked if we wanted a blessing. We dropped to our knees in front of him and he splashed water over us and did the lovely sing songy thing. I am never sure whether you are supposed to look them in the eye but I did and got an eyeful of water, that will teach me! He tied our bracelets to our wrists and we dropped some baht into his bowl. He said we could take a picture of him if we wanted, he then excused himself and went outside for a quick smoke. I love this place.

We also went to the ruins of the Royal Palace and right next to it a brand new Wat under construction. They had tents set up as a temporary measure and as we passed a monk started doing his thing into a microphone and I am sure he started by singing ; numb nuts fuck wattoo. I wondered who Wattoo was. I laughed for ages. I will never go to heaven.

We had lunch and then we went to Wat Chaiwatthanaram. It is right on the river and the furthest out of town. It must have been spectacular in its day but like all of them apart from a few stupas and prangs they are mostly piles of bricks and rubble and broken Buddha statues. It was a long cycle back and a cool beer was greatly appreciated.

Again we had bikes and set off for another day of sightseeing. It was an even hotter day. We visited the places we missed yesterday after my elephant riding rant…we also visited the museum which was fab. In 1957 looters had stolen an enormous amount of treasure from one of the temples. The police knew they were there the first night and sent 4 policemen to watch out for them. The policemen got greedy and decided they wanted some of the booty but one of them got drunk and they were rumbled. Sadly they only got a small proportion of the treasures back. It is fantastic what they did retrieve especially a ceremonial sword encrusted with jewels. The workmanship is amazing for the time, the 1500’s. There was lots of interesting stuff there and it was well worth the visit.

We are leaving Ayutthaya tomorrow so an early night is in order. Have enjoyed the trip here and met some nice people. We are also looking forward to catching up with friends in CM and feeling a little cooler. Even the tuk tuks are different here, really cool. This will be our transport to the station.

We are just about to leave the island and just wanted to share a few more photos from the other half of the island, the very southern part. There are some real Robinson Crusoe beaches here, very beautiful and deserted. There is a National Park right at the tip; all jungle and monkeys roaming around.

We also came across my favourite animal, ever

The sunset on Wednesday night was spectacular and so was the storm that followed, it thrashed it down, had to buy a fetching poncho

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I wasn’t sure about this island when we first arrived but having had a good look round I know we will come back. We have made friends here and we never got to the animal sanctuary so I think we may well return….

Arriving on Ko Lanta on the ‘Harry Potter mini-bus’ from Krabi, just off the ferry and wondering why places look a bit shabby when you first arrive. The towns we drove through looked shambolic and scruffy and it didn’t help that it was bucketing down and when we were dropped off at our guesthouse the road outside was all dug up and a big digger right outside. It all changed when we were met by the owner and given fresh juice and shown to our lovely clean and spacious room with a tropical garden just outside our little patio, now it’s looking better.

The beach is a few minutes walk away and is a long sandy beach. We wanted a quieter beach, some are party central with new moon, old moon any old moon parties all the time. This beach has more families and is more chilled. Lots of small bars line the beach for lunch or a sunset cocktail and the water is warm and shallow for a long way out. There are surprisingly few people around, lovely.

We have rented a motorbike. The roads are full of holes and the first bike we rented had no front brake or suspension so we changed it. The new bike is marginally better, it has brakes but is a bit ropey, we will go slowly. Yesterday we went half way round the island it took 30 minutes, it’s not very big. The capital, The Old Town is charming with lots of cafes and places hanging over the water on stilts. The shops have lots of handmade leather goods and different things to your average holiday wares. We watched a couple of fishermen on the long pier throwing round nets out and catching handfuls of small fish with each throw, very skilful. There were fish eagles who were also fishing, we watched them for ages rising and falling majestically.

On our way back we passed a couple of tourists down a side road, one girl lying on the floor so we turned around and went back. She had fallen off her bike and had injuries to her foot , legs and arm and looked really shocked. There was a hospital a few miles back and when we asked if we could assist in any way they said they needed help taking her bike to the hospital. She then got on her boyfriends bike and I followed Chris, very tentatively, on our bike. It brought back our accident a few years ago, it’s the law of averages, you will fall off at some point. Out here the scars you end up with are called a ‘Thai tattoo’. We drove really slowly…..

However far you are away from home you always meet someone from Manchester. We met 3 guys on the beach, 2 from Whaley Range and one from Gatley all looking up at a darkening sky saying it looks just like Manchester…but not really, it’s mostly sunny on a lovely beach!! We have been swimming most days, well floating really, it’s fab.

We have been to a jungle party. It has a DJ, a bonfire and a bar that sells alcohol and all manner of things. It’s called the Mong bar and the guy that runs it does extreme knife tricks, he is just mental and so are his bar staff. He does the trick where he stabs imbetween his fingers very quickly with a big knife. So far he has managed to keep all his fingers, I don’t know how. It is very entertaining but worrying…..

We have booked a flight back to Bangkok on Friday. We then get a train to Ayutthaya which is 80 miles out of Bangkok and was the capital city of Siam and a prosperous trading port from 1350 until it was razed by the Burmese in 1767. The ruins now lie in a historical park and contain Buddhist temples, statues and monasteries between 3 rivers. We will be there for 3 days exploring the site before we return to Chiang Mai on the train.

It was an easy journey from CM to Krabi. Everything went well, a quick check in, plane on time and miraculously our bag was the first off the carousel. We walked into the arrivals hall bought 2 tickets for the bus and jumped on behind a towering pile of rucksacks and bags. 30 minutes later we were in our accommodation, easy peasy.

Everything is so different here. The people look different, a different tribe of people than in the north and more Muslims live here, you are very close to Malaysia. Which means different food and a much more tropical climate, it often rains a little in the afternoons which is lovely. The traffic is not as intense as CM which is more relaxing and again we have hired a bike.

The food is more expensive but you seem to get much larger portions. The Thais don’t understand why we regulate ourselves in the West to 3 meals a day they just eat when they are hungry!! The seafood here has a huge variety with lobster, crabs and prawns aplenty as well as lots of interesting fish. The accommodation is also more expensive but after all this part of the world is tourist central with lots of package holidays coming here.

The really attractive thing about Krabi are the magnificent karst hills which are everywhere, on land and also in the sea it is spectacular. The coast, beaches and islands are just beautiful and magical, the water is lukewarm and welcoming. A lot of these parts are covered in palm oil and rubber plantations, vast swathes of them, the wet and tropical weather just perfect for it. A very nice change to the city.

We went on a trip on the bike to the ‘Tiger Temple’ and caves (Wat Tham Sua) about 25 miles away. It is a big complex with a cave where allegedly a tiger used to rest in the morning.

To get to the temple on top of the hill there are 1,237 steps to climb. To access the stairs you first have to pass at least 50 monkeys which want to jump all over you and steal anything they can. They are fun to watch. The stairs are something again. Some are very steep where you have to do a monkey climb, some uneven and after the first 200 or so I thought someone had stolen my lungs. After many air stops, 45 minutes later we eventually got to the top and it was worth the pain. Fantastic views, a cooler breeze and time to recover. The descent was much easier until I stopped at the bottom where my legs were very shaky for at least 20 minutes.

We returned to the guesthouse and the heavens opened. The owner Bandhit (who is Indian not Thai) asked us what we had planned for the day and wondered if we wanted to go out with him for a drive in his car. We went and drank chai tea with a friend who has a local restaurant and looked at a very nice hilltop resort with fantastic views to the coast and inland. He took us for a long drive down the coast and we watched sunset on the beach at a posh resort called Tubkaek, fantastic.

We have booked a transfer to an island called Ko Lanta a little further south of Krabi. It was 300 baht for the bus and ferry ticket to the island (about £7) and takes about 3 hours. Once there we can relax, unpack and enjoy the sea and sand. Looking at what you can do on the island we noticed there was an animal shelter where you can take dogs for walks and cuddle cats, we’ll be there no doubt. We are staying here for a week and the accommodation costs the same as for a month in CM. This is our holiday within a holiday, no expense spared!!

I would like to add another speed to the mini bus; HYPER warp factor 9!!. We are now sat on the ferry waiting for the short trip to the island after what can only be described as an exhilarating 2 hour journey. The driver is friendly but wouldn’t have been out of place in the film ‘one flew over the cuckoo’s nest’, bonkers.

A couple of friends told us about a programme on U.K. tv based on the film ‘The best exotic marigold hotel’ about a group of retirees who go to India, it’s a great film. The television programme, a spin off of the film, has a group of celebrity retirees who go to different cities to check out how it would be to live and retire there. The reason I am mentioning this is because they have just filmed in Chiang Mai. We downloaded the programme and watched it a couple of nights ago. They filmed at Worrorot market, ate lots of food, had a health check with different Thai style treatments and went on a Buddhist retreat for a day. The 2 ladies who went on the ‘silent retreat’ never stopped talking and I found myself (all mindfulness training out of the window) shouting shut the f*** up very loudly at the TV. Even the monk in charge looked brassed off, grrr. Anyway rant over, they went to a market, bought a few catfish (alive) and went to a local temple called Wat U Mong just out of the city. To a Buddhist, releasing an animal back to the wild is an honourable thing to do and earns merit.

Anyhow, we were out and about on the bikes heading for Wat U Mong as we decided it looked lovely with a big lake and we had never been before. We stopped at a little local market showing our friend Andy around and buying some ice cold coconut water and snacks to take with us on our day out when we noticed a woman with a big bowl full of catfish and decided we would also earn some merit and good luck. We asked if we could buy one and had to quickly say ‘alive’ before she dispatched it. She laughed a lot and spoke to other stall holders and they all had a good chuckle and gathered round. This is obviously where they marigold hotel group had bought theirs. After much splashing the now named Colin the catfish was in the bag with a little water heading off to the Wat. It was less than 10 minutes to the Wat and we parked the bikes and headed for the lake to the exact spot where the other fish had been released. We left him in the bag a little while longer to acclimatise him to the lake temperature and let him go. He wasn’t keen at first and kept swimming back, we thought he might be hungry so found rice left for the pigeons and threw it at him which he gratefully munched. We all felt quite good about the whole thing. As we walked round the lake we noticed lots of enormous catfish and hoped that Colin wasn’t going to be lunch for something else………he was only little.

Wat U Mong is really different to most temples. It is a unique 14th century temple built into the side of Suthep mountain and is a series of underground tunnels in a forest. It is magical and quite unlike anything I have seen here. In some of the enclaves, in the tunnels, are Buddha statues and on the ceilings are early paintings of elephants and temples There is a monastery and many monks live around the grounds surrounding the lake. There is a meditation retreat centre and on a Sunday, in English, you can talk to the monks, monk chat, and have discussions about Buddhism. As well as huge catfish in the lake there are enormous turtles which are supposed to be good luck if you spot them, we saw loads. Feeling lucky.

This brings me to a story told to me by a friend David who lives and runs a guesthouse in CM. David’s brother was visiting him and had taken his dogs out for an early morning walk by the river. He had seen a fisherman about to kill and use as bait a turtle, so had bought it off him to save its life. He excitedly rang his brother and told him he had a turtle and where could they let it go. David suggested the big moat which runs round the city. They got to the moat and with due ceremony they dropped the turtle into the moat and it sank never to resurface. The words for turtles and tortoises in Thai, land turtle and water turtle, are the same and sadly this was a land turtle (tortoise) who couldn’t swim. Whoops. Good intentions, language breakdown.

Many people retire here. The climate is perfect, it’s cheap to live here and the people are friendly. To get a retirement visa here you need about £1000 a month coming in or £20000 in the Bank and you need to renew every year, it costs £44. There is a 5 year multiple entry retirement visa which will save people having to renew every year and costs £11000, expensive, and more for wealthy retirees who can’t be bothered to renew If you want to come for a shorter time a 30 day visa works which you get on arrival, no charge for 30 days. A 60 day visa costs £35 which you apply for from the U.K. You can renew once at the immigration office for about £30 and it gives you another 30 days. If you leave the country for a few days, you get 30 days when you come back in on a waiver visa. There are lots of options depending on how long you want to stay.

It is cheap to live here if you live like a local. It gets expensive if you want to drink lots of alcohol and eat western food. Condos can be expensive £400-500 a month when they have gym’s and pools but if you look around you can find fabulous accommodation for £150 a month plus water and electric. If you can resist the air con you can save money. The money you save not being in a posh condo buys you a gym membership and lots of days out and all your food. Entertainment can be reasonable. The cinema on a Wednesday is 100 baht (£2.25) and more high tech than our new local cinema at home, reclining seats and very plush. We have seen every new Star Wars film on the day of release. To compensate for seeing Star Wars, I make Chris watch Disney films with singing animals, the more the merrier, brilliant!!! There is plenty of live music in bars, for free. Lots to do. If you want to meet ex pats there are lots of groups that meet and play bridge, go fishing and lots of different activities just like at home. Not for us really we would rather meet and chat to locals.

Tomorrow we are leaving for Krabi and the islands. Chris wants to see the James Bond island and the unusual rock formations in the sea. We are also hoping to see dudongs which are similar to manatees on one of the smaller remote National Park islands. I am looking forward to swimming, reading and just chillin……..

I know the zoo isn’t for everyone but we like to go when we are in town. I am generally not a lover of zoos but CM Zoo has a certain charm to it and it has a very natural feel and big enclosures for the animals. The weather is perfect for it. You can feed hippos and giraffes, you just buy a small bowl of carrots or beans for a few baht, it helps to pay for the feed and is a small price to pay. It is great fun seeing the head and long neck of the giraffe coming towards you, tongue reaching out because it has noticed you are buying green beans……and not many places where you can stroke a hippos chin!! There seem fewer animals this time and money has been spent on infrastructure, new animal compounds and better toilets. It’s £4 entrance to the zoo, it is a huge site and takes at least 4 hours to walk round, it’s a really good walk. A lot of the enclosures are huge and natural and others scrupulously maintained modern buildings like the pandas which are on loan from China and a big attraction. One of my favourite animals and one I haven’t seen before is a binterong. It has the face of a cat, body of a bear, long black fur and a big bushy tail. It’s about the size of a large Alsatian dog and just seems to sleep, lying along a sturdy branch. Fascinating.

There is a huge tribe of small clawed otters which are very vocal and fun to watch. The only thing I don’t like is the tiger compound where the tiger paces up and down, he doesn’t look happy. A lot of the animals do look happy and content and it’s more like a petting zoo where you can stroke goats and pot bellied pigs and a whole menagerie of small animals. In the U.K. you are so far away from everything and definitely no touching or feeding. They are unnatural and the animals are rarely out because it’s so fricking cold.

We have also visited an insect zoo just out of the city where you can hold iguanas, spiders, scorpions and other assorted insects. I held a scorpion as a 6 year old sweet looking girl had just done the same and I felt obliged to not look scared witless. It’s only when I handed it back to the keeper that she said it was only ‘slightly’ poisonous!!

We have just been again to the Siam Insect Zoo with a friend and driving through the mountains saw a very poisonous centipede in the middle of the road, we had just seen them at the Zoo. They are up to 8” long and it is an active, aggressive predator that prays on any animal it can overwhelm. It tends to try to eat any living animal it encounters that is not longer than itself. It has a venomous bite which will put you in hospital and can kill the young and infirm. We also saw last week driving around, a vine snake just on the side of the road not harmful this time. Whew!! It’s a wild, wild place.

On the way back from long drives in the countryside we often see elephants. After they have finished being with tourists they are in corals eating and relaxing and we have spoken to the mahouts and been able to say hello. I always feel very emotional around elephants. You can usually smell them before you see them, they have a rich, earthy distinctive aroma. I like just being near them. Some are really inquisitive, I have had trunks delving about in my shorts pockets and twisting my tea shirt round and round. We often give the mahouts a few baht for letting us near them and take a few photos, they always seem surprised and happy with the small gift and hopefully they will let us do it again. It feels like such a privilege it makes me very happy and I cannot get enough of them!

There are lots of other animals in the region which do not fare quite as well. Up near Chiang Rai, in the golden triangle, just inside the border with Myanmar there is a market where you can buy animal parts which are used in traditional Chinese ‘medicine’. You can buy bear paws, bear bile extracted daily from black bears kept in horrendous conditions, tiger skin and bones, pangolins which are almost extinct and sadly lots of body parts of other unfortunate animals. I am not even sure that all these medicines even work, it’s disgusting but will take many generations to hopefully one day be a thing of the past. The Chinese government has just banned the sale of all ivory, its a step in the right direction but the traditions of Chinese medicine will be harder to eradicate.

On a lighter note on every street, in the cities and villages, outside shops and temples there are lots of dogs and cats. Most look homeless but unlike the U.K. they are just out and about in the daytime and have homes. You realise this when the weather gets cold as you then see them with little fleecy coats on. Our local shop has 3 pure white cats. One is always on top of a tall shelving unit, one in a box on a shelf and one sprawled out on the counter. The temple dogs are fed by the monks and other people who bring food for them. The locals bring unwanted dogs to the temples to be looked after. The Thais mostly have dogs for security, cats as rat catchers and aren’t as soppy generally as we are with pets. They all have a purpose. Most of the dogs are friendly but I have been surrounded by snarling dogs at one of the temples and needed a monk to rescue me.